Post by EvilRocker on Jan 18, 2004 21:23:43 GMT -5
STUDIO DIARY #26 (November 10th - 16th, 2000)
Friday 10th
OH god.......I want to experience elation.......find myself taken over by sheer unabandoned joy and find pleasure in small things.
I'm feeling so sick with anxiety today.If only I were smarter,more talented, more focused. If only I didn't have red hair. If only I had an easier disposition. If only I could learn to go with the flow and didn't feel like I had to fight everybody and everything all the time.
Saturday 11th
Shopping expedition to Chicago.
When in doubt.............when truly down in the dumps......... Do some damage on the credit card. Retail therapy works like a charm every time.........if only in the short term. Now be sure to remember that people. Don't do as I do. It makes absolutely no fiscal sense whatsoever. (Spoken like a true Scot.)
Oh I nearly forgot....I went to see ALMOST FAMOUS last night and it was absolutely FABULOUS! It gave me goosebumps!!! So much of it rang true.Like the scene where one of the groupie girls is describing her love of a band and her love of music in general. I don't know.....it was just so beautifully put and made me really emotional. (I know.....I'm a complete mess.) But it reminded me of how I felt about Siouxsie and the Banshees and Chrissie Hynde and all my other loves.The magic spell that music casts.
God.....when we played Wembley (London) and Chrissie came and joined us on stage to sing "Only Happy When It Rains", it was like some bizarre dream sequence.Everything was in slow motion and all my senses were heightened to the point where I could hear my own heartbeat.And because we use in ear monitors I could hear Chrissie's voice like I was listening to her on record and I could also hear my own voice harmonizing with hers and I had to really focus in on the crowd and try to force their energy into the back of my eye sockets because I knew that if I didn't harness myself completely I would break down into uncontrollable sobbing.It was both awful and divine all at once.It felt religious to me.I'll never forget it.
Sunday 12th
Day off
Monday 13th
I want to go home. I've just totally had enough. I want to go back home to Scotland and hangout in the city with my friends and catch a bus and eat some fish and chips wrapped in newspaper and hear some scottish accents and watch the sea roll up against my garden wall and take a walk upon the cobblestones and watch Celtic play football on a Saturday afternoon (even if they lose) and hear my husband laugh out loud at something funny on the telly and watch my mum boil her Christmas Pudding 6 weeks in advance and get plastered on whisky and see Edinburgh Castle all covered in snow and squeeze my nephews little hand and go shopping at Safeways and play whatever CD I damn well please at any volume I damn well please without anyone asking me to PLEASE turn it down!!!!!!!!!!
Chicago was fun but it made me feel utterly homesick. It made me realize how much I miss living in a city.
I also hooked up with my old pal Chris Connelly whilst I was down in Chicago which added to my nostalgia. Chris also used to live in Edinburgh before he moved to the US to sing with The Ministry and The Revolting Cocks. Before then we were the absolutely inseparable kind of best of friends so it was JOYOUS to see him but it also made me ache for home.
I WANT MY FUCKING LIFE BACK.
Tuesday 14th
I got my period this morning so consequently I'm feeling utterly drained of life and energy.It's so vile being a girl sometimes.
Oh before I forget! The RollingStone.com review on Radiohead wasn't written by ME you dafties.It was written by Michael Krugman and Jason Cohen.
Anyway..............stumbled upon another wonderful quote the other day to stick in my vocal booth as a way by which to comfort myself:
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,to arrive where you are,to get from where you are not,you must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
-T.S Elliot
Wednesday 15th
Let us discuss SEX DRUGS AND ROCK'N ROLL for a minute.I'm getting no SEX.The DRUGS don't work for me and ROCK'n Roll is painful and time consumming. Ha ha ha..........
Ok........now what?
How about the article in USA Today on people like Oliver Stone injecting themselves with Human Growth Hormones in an attempt to stay forever young?!?!?!??!!
OH yeah Oliver THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!!!!! (GET a BLOODY life.)
Ok.....what next? How about the election? Nah let's not bother........I am so utterly disinterested in the entire fiasco.Neither of those ridiculous men deserve to take office so they can both shag off for all I care.
Hmmmmnnnnnnn.............how about the photo of me in this week's Rolling Stone in my vocal booth.? Yucky Yucky Yucky or WHAT?!?!?!?! Although please note the picture of Russell Crowe on the extreme right of the frame.I have it stuck on my music stand for inspiration whenever I'm singing something rude!!!!
Today Garbage's favourite record is: Soulmates by Nobody.
This is what Butch is having for lunch.(Eeugh YUCK)
MENU:
2 slices of smoked turkey breast
10 rice crackers with some Port Wine Cheese Spread
2 gerkin pickles.
1 carmel apple
Today I'm wearing a pink fuschia thong,Calvin Klien Jeans,a black long sleeved Martin Margiela T-shirt, grey cashmere socks and black stormtrooper knee high boots.
I have prepped my face with Nars Make-up Primer followed by Shu Uemura Nobara Cream Foundation.Cheek and Lip tint by Philosophy, Invisible Pressed Powder by Shiseido.Black Voluminous Mascara.Black Aveda Eyeliner and Shot Gun eyeshadow by Urban Decay.
The last time I:
Brushed my teeth was 2 hours ago.
Peed was 40 mins ago.
Shaved my legs was three days ago.
Had a manicure was a week ago.
Masturabated was two whole lonely days ago.
Thursday 16th
Got sent a cd by the Fun Lovin Crimminals this morning.Oh how I adore them.Huey is just about the cutest, most fucked up little lamb in the world.He makes you want to reach out and brush his eyebrows in the right direction and whisper I love you's.
They want me to sing on one of the songs on their new album.The track is really beautiful and I'd love to do it but again........I don't know if I'll be able to due to my contractual complications. Honestly...the music business has fucking ZERO to do with the love of music.It's solely about the egos of men who only really care about power and dollar signs.They don't give a shit about music or bands or people and you know.....that's fine with me if they don't but let's drop the fucking PRETENSE!!!!! I just wish they would make it perfectly clear that they didn't give a fuck.Instead they all skulk around the edges,hide in corners,send in the lawyers,smile and ask after the family.God it makes me so angry.Musicians in general get kicked around like footballs. It gets to the point where you begin to stop wanting to make music altogether in an attempt to loosen the noose around your own neck.It's all so bloody frustrating.
Friday 10th
OH god.......I want to experience elation.......find myself taken over by sheer unabandoned joy and find pleasure in small things.
I'm feeling so sick with anxiety today.If only I were smarter,more talented, more focused. If only I didn't have red hair. If only I had an easier disposition. If only I could learn to go with the flow and didn't feel like I had to fight everybody and everything all the time.
Saturday 11th
Shopping expedition to Chicago.
When in doubt.............when truly down in the dumps......... Do some damage on the credit card. Retail therapy works like a charm every time.........if only in the short term. Now be sure to remember that people. Don't do as I do. It makes absolutely no fiscal sense whatsoever. (Spoken like a true Scot.)
Oh I nearly forgot....I went to see ALMOST FAMOUS last night and it was absolutely FABULOUS! It gave me goosebumps!!! So much of it rang true.Like the scene where one of the groupie girls is describing her love of a band and her love of music in general. I don't know.....it was just so beautifully put and made me really emotional. (I know.....I'm a complete mess.) But it reminded me of how I felt about Siouxsie and the Banshees and Chrissie Hynde and all my other loves.The magic spell that music casts.
God.....when we played Wembley (London) and Chrissie came and joined us on stage to sing "Only Happy When It Rains", it was like some bizarre dream sequence.Everything was in slow motion and all my senses were heightened to the point where I could hear my own heartbeat.And because we use in ear monitors I could hear Chrissie's voice like I was listening to her on record and I could also hear my own voice harmonizing with hers and I had to really focus in on the crowd and try to force their energy into the back of my eye sockets because I knew that if I didn't harness myself completely I would break down into uncontrollable sobbing.It was both awful and divine all at once.It felt religious to me.I'll never forget it.
Sunday 12th
Day off
Monday 13th
I want to go home. I've just totally had enough. I want to go back home to Scotland and hangout in the city with my friends and catch a bus and eat some fish and chips wrapped in newspaper and hear some scottish accents and watch the sea roll up against my garden wall and take a walk upon the cobblestones and watch Celtic play football on a Saturday afternoon (even if they lose) and hear my husband laugh out loud at something funny on the telly and watch my mum boil her Christmas Pudding 6 weeks in advance and get plastered on whisky and see Edinburgh Castle all covered in snow and squeeze my nephews little hand and go shopping at Safeways and play whatever CD I damn well please at any volume I damn well please without anyone asking me to PLEASE turn it down!!!!!!!!!!
Chicago was fun but it made me feel utterly homesick. It made me realize how much I miss living in a city.
I also hooked up with my old pal Chris Connelly whilst I was down in Chicago which added to my nostalgia. Chris also used to live in Edinburgh before he moved to the US to sing with The Ministry and The Revolting Cocks. Before then we were the absolutely inseparable kind of best of friends so it was JOYOUS to see him but it also made me ache for home.
I WANT MY FUCKING LIFE BACK.
Tuesday 14th
I got my period this morning so consequently I'm feeling utterly drained of life and energy.It's so vile being a girl sometimes.
Oh before I forget! The RollingStone.com review on Radiohead wasn't written by ME you dafties.It was written by Michael Krugman and Jason Cohen.
Anyway..............stumbled upon another wonderful quote the other day to stick in my vocal booth as a way by which to comfort myself:
Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there,to arrive where you are,to get from where you are not,you must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy.
-T.S Elliot
Wednesday 15th
Let us discuss SEX DRUGS AND ROCK'N ROLL for a minute.I'm getting no SEX.The DRUGS don't work for me and ROCK'n Roll is painful and time consumming. Ha ha ha..........
Ok........now what?
How about the article in USA Today on people like Oliver Stone injecting themselves with Human Growth Hormones in an attempt to stay forever young?!?!?!??!!
OH yeah Oliver THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA!!!!!!! (GET a BLOODY life.)
Ok.....what next? How about the election? Nah let's not bother........I am so utterly disinterested in the entire fiasco.Neither of those ridiculous men deserve to take office so they can both shag off for all I care.
Hmmmmnnnnnnn.............how about the photo of me in this week's Rolling Stone in my vocal booth.? Yucky Yucky Yucky or WHAT?!?!?!?! Although please note the picture of Russell Crowe on the extreme right of the frame.I have it stuck on my music stand for inspiration whenever I'm singing something rude!!!!
Today Garbage's favourite record is: Soulmates by Nobody.
This is what Butch is having for lunch.(Eeugh YUCK)
MENU:
2 slices of smoked turkey breast
10 rice crackers with some Port Wine Cheese Spread
2 gerkin pickles.
1 carmel apple
Today I'm wearing a pink fuschia thong,Calvin Klien Jeans,a black long sleeved Martin Margiela T-shirt, grey cashmere socks and black stormtrooper knee high boots.
I have prepped my face with Nars Make-up Primer followed by Shu Uemura Nobara Cream Foundation.Cheek and Lip tint by Philosophy, Invisible Pressed Powder by Shiseido.Black Voluminous Mascara.Black Aveda Eyeliner and Shot Gun eyeshadow by Urban Decay.
The last time I:
Brushed my teeth was 2 hours ago.
Peed was 40 mins ago.
Shaved my legs was three days ago.
Had a manicure was a week ago.
Masturabated was two whole lonely days ago.
Thursday 16th
Got sent a cd by the Fun Lovin Crimminals this morning.Oh how I adore them.Huey is just about the cutest, most fucked up little lamb in the world.He makes you want to reach out and brush his eyebrows in the right direction and whisper I love you's.
They want me to sing on one of the songs on their new album.The track is really beautiful and I'd love to do it but again........I don't know if I'll be able to due to my contractual complications. Honestly...the music business has fucking ZERO to do with the love of music.It's solely about the egos of men who only really care about power and dollar signs.They don't give a shit about music or bands or people and you know.....that's fine with me if they don't but let's drop the fucking PRETENSE!!!!! I just wish they would make it perfectly clear that they didn't give a fuck.Instead they all skulk around the edges,hide in corners,send in the lawyers,smile and ask after the family.God it makes me so angry.Musicians in general get kicked around like footballs. It gets to the point where you begin to stop wanting to make music altogether in an attempt to loosen the noose around your own neck.It's all so bloody frustrating.