To all those darklings out there who have ever had problems with cutting, substance abuse, or anything that is done for a 'release', how did you later cope with your emotions? Art and music rarely ever give me that feeling.... is there anything I could try?
As the resident advice giver(or meddler) for the board, I wish that I could give you advice on this. But I really can't. I haven't had too much experience on this topic. The closest that I ever got to this was a mild case of depression that I had in my early teen years, but I never did anything harmful for release or as a coping mechanism.
The one thing that I learned from therapy that may apply to you is that you really can't look for happiness or fulfillment in things or in other people. It has to come from within. One reason why you might be seeking coping mechanisms is because you are unhappy with yourself. Although I have no idea if that applies to you or not.
In general, being happy with yourself, and having a positive outlook on both yourself and life will work wonders. Self esteem is the most powerful force in the universe.
You seem to be the only darkling that helps these days Thanks.
Umm, well. I don't really know how to go about such things. Normal people have little things they can do to release any sort of emotion they might have, whether that be happiness or otherwise. I can't find that. Ive tried, for most of my life.
In my case, breaking two nasty habits helped me a lot: -beating myself up over little things- Stuff like "how could I forget my keys! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!..." -stressing about what others think of the way I look- Stuff like "my pants are too wrinkly" or "this shirt is too tight" "They must think I'm ugly", etc.
Apparently these greatly affects one's self image on a subconscious level. The more negative thoughts you have about yourself and the world around you the lower your self-esteem becomes. And the lower your self-esteem is the higher chance you have to harm yourself, make bad choices, give up(a big one for me), etc. The same principle that applies to self deprecation also applies to: -sadness -envy -anger -perfectionism
So I make a strong effort to not think self deprecating thoughts about myself. Every time that I do catch myself having a though like this I follow it up with a positive though about myself. I know that it sounds a bit silly, but it really does make a huge difference in the way you feel.
With that being said, positive thoughts aren't going to break substance abuse problem or a self harm problem. For that you need professional help. There are certain problems that only experiences and a psychology degree can solve.
Post by pixelphonic on Jun 10, 2012 20:42:44 GMT -5
I've struggled with self injury a lot in my life. For me dance and ballet were helpful in terms of giving me a way to cope with and express the emotions I was feeling as well as find strength and a sense of comfort with my own body. That said relying too heavily on this as a way to fix my larger issues did often backfire.
Finding something that can act as a distraction and release can be helpful, but there's no quick fix. Struggling with self abuse/substance abuse/depression is a long battle. Take it one day at a time and don't try to overwhelm yourself with expectations that finding the right "release" will fix anything.
I don't know if this was helpful or not but I wish you the best.
My problem is, I thought I was past all of it. The past year has proven to be a bit too hard on me. Not only that, but my day life is driving me insane. Wake up at 7am, pick my husband up 45 mins away, from work release...drive him to work.... sit in a tiny office for 10 hours.... drive him back..... home.. sleep... repeat. every fucking day. Not to mention, that destroys my night life as well. So those two major things combined, with no release, leaves me feeling very anxious and overwhelmed and REALLY really bored.
I gave this some though, and I think I came up with something that might help you out London.skies.burn. Perhaps having a long term goal will make the every day grind of life a bit more bearable.
It has to be something substantial and enjoyable. Something that can motivate you during the drudge work. Specifically, I was thinking that you and your husband can plan a vacation. You two can get away to some place far away that you've always wanted to visit but never got a chance to. And it has to be a real plan, not just a "maybe one day" type of thing. I mean an exact destination, a budget, and a time table. Even if you are strapped for cash, it's doable. Save $5 here $10 there. That sort of thing. It might take a couple of years to save up enough, but at least it's an endgame that you are working to achieve instead of the never ending dullness.
Post by darklingksayhey on Jun 12, 2012 13:40:35 GMT -5
I used to have a problem with cutti g and starving myself. I just thought I wasnt good enough. I realized I was hanging out with the wrong crowed so I decided to surround myself with good people. I found talking about it helped. When I knew I was hurting a lot of people and I soon began to see how many people I mattered to I stopped. Every now and then I'm tempted to start again but I just think how I'm affecting those who care about me and I realize I have a whole life ahead of me. If you don't like something about yourself or you're unhappy, you can change it without hurting yourself
Fix me now I wish you would, bring me back to life
Nah, I don't feel any need to hurt myself. What I need to do, is figure out a release that is just as strong as cutting was for me years ago. I thought writing or music would be the case, but it's not at all.
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